Afterlife

You are probably asking yourself, “Why will Jesus be removing our reproductive organs and teats before we get to Heaven?” Well, my dear lady, the answer is quite simple. In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals. My guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch His creatures hump away on each other for the last 4,000 years. I know I’d be! Think of it this way, Jesus and His Daddy have been sitting up there in Heaven watching the longest pornographic film ever made, and frankly, they are no longer amused.
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
news0704/grandpa.html, accessed 06/20/07)

"Will our resurrection bodies have sex organs? Since men will be men, and women will be women, and since there will be direct continuity between the old bodies and the new, there's every reason to believe they will."
(Alcorn, Randy Heaven Wheaton, Illonois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2004 p.339.)

Catholic Church (Roman Catholics)

There is no room in Heaven for Mary-loving, incense-burning, Pope-adoring, candle-lighting, apparition-seeing, statue-slobbering, ring-kissing, wafer-eating, stained glass-loving, altar-boy banging, mackarel-snapping idol-worshipers!
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
sermons/catholics.html, accessed 12-21-06)

Charter documents written on cloth scrolls reveal that the Catholic "Church" was created shortly after the death and resurrection of our Savior by a group of homo ministers who had been expelled from Christian churches in Italy. These sodomites sought refuge from constant condemnation but wished to remain ministers, practicing the sins of Sodom in secret. Thus began what is now the Catholic "Church." (http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news0100/investigation.html, accessed 03/12/07)

All of our articles on Catholic topics were written by former Catholics who left the Catholic Church after comparing what the Catholic Church teaches and practices with the Bible. The articles are thoroughly researched. We strongly believe them to accurately represent the doctrines of the Catholic Church. You may disagree with our conclusions, but they are the results of years of being Catholic, being taught Catholic doctrine, practicing Catholicism, studying Catholic theology, and conversing with Catholics. We are not bashing the Catholic Church, and we do not hate Catholics. We simply believe there are some serious doctrinal problems with the Catholic Church that need to be addressed Biblically. (http://www.gotquestions.org/Catholic-questions.html, accessed 12-21-06. Their bolding)

Our leadership had discussed for years the possibility of formalizing our bridge-building efforts in the Catholic community. The perfect opportunity presented itself in October 1995, when John Paul II came to the United States for a papal visit…The following week we formally launched the Catholic Alliance, a division of the Christian Coalition designed to extend our cooperation with like-minded lay Catholics…” (Reed, Ralph Active faith (New York: The Free Press) 1996, p.217.)

Cinema

Elf
I don't know about you, but I'm not about to have my grandson sit in a dark theatre for two hours watching a silver-tongued lisping sodomite in a skimpy outfit hop around like a silly little schoolgirl. (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
news1103/elf.html, accessed 12-20-06)

LOTR: The Two Towers
This time around, you don't have to be a Bible Scholar or a Creation Scientist to see that The Two Towers are giant structures built to glorify and honor the aroused genitalia of two of the most powerful evil beings in the movie. The imagery is kept discrete only by the merciful fact that both creatures are uncircumcised – otherwise the shape of two enormous, throbbing purple penis heads would have been staring every moviegoer in the face! The citizens of Middle Earth pick which penis they like best and head toward it. (http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news1202/twotowers.html, accessed 03/15/07)

Spiderman 3
To put it simply, so the unsaved can
understand: Spiderman is promoting the glorification of woman
on arachnid intercourse. (http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news0507/spiderman3.html, accessed 01/14/08)

Cinema

Elf
But it’s when Buddy is forced to learn how to handle rejection (both his father’s and brother’s) that positive lessons about the importance of the family—especially bonding with a father—are underscored. Still, Elf is not as pure as the driven snow. Some mild language problems, a wink at inebriation and a complete avoidance of the season's Bethlehem roots mix some mud into it. (http://www.pluggedinonline.com/movies
/movies/a0001551.cfm, accessed 12-20-06)

LOTR: The Two Towers
Families who felt so-so about the violence of Fellowship should be aware that things get darker and more intense here. No more frolicking in the Shire. The scenic splendor of Rivendell gives way to slithering sidekicks and hordes of invading beasts. (Thank goodness for John Rhys-Davies, who provides much-needed comic relief as Gimli the Dwarf.) If things truly are darkest before dawn, director Peter Jackson has gone all out to set up an unbelievably bright "dawn" in act three, next year’s Return of the King. From a storytelling perspective, that makes sense. After all, The Empire Strikes Back was the most foreboding film in the original Star Wars trilogy. But the often dreary onslaught here may be more than some families want to endure (this is not a film for children). (http://www.pluggedinonline.com
/movies/movies/a0000116.cfm, accessed 03/17/07)

Spiderman 3
Not very many action movies take the time
to tell teens, "These are the years a man
changes into the man he's going to be
for the rest of his life. Just be
careful who you change into." Or tell the rest
of us, "There's a hero in all of us that
keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us
noble and finally allows us to die with pride."
Or, even more poignantly, "Remember, with great power comes
great responsibility." That was then (in Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2). This is now.
Thankfully, the now isn't much different from the then.
If anything, the lessons here are more spiritual than
before as we watch a superhero choose between
good (the red-and-blue suit) and evil (the black one).
It's the old-man-new-man struggle that Paul talks about
in Ephesians 4. The viscid, symbiote organism that latches onto
Peter amplifies his strengths, but it also inflates his desire
for vengeance and power. He slides into the darker side
of his nature, becoming moody and arrogant, and
driving away everyone he values. Peter loves the rush
of the change, but soon laments the consequences of
his actions and struggles to break free. (http://www.pluggedinonline.com
/movies/movies/a0003209.cfm, accessed 01/14/08)

Education

Although, Rev. Porter has no experience whatsoever with children (he has none of his own, in fact he wholeheartedly detests them) Church council felt that the Lord was leading them to appreciate his skills in anti terrorism, sharp shooting, and pencil pushing. (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/thestaff
/youth/porter.html, accessed 12-20-06)

Education

In Christian education there should be a proper balance between academic freedom and academic responsibility.
(The Baptist Faith and Message, Article XII, adopted by the Southern Baptist Convention, May 9 1963, San Francisco, CA) 

Evolution

Evolution

This fails to note the distinction between normal (operational) science, and origins or historical science. Normal (operational) science deals only with repeatable observable processes in the present, [gravity] while origins science helps us to make educated guesses about origins in the past. [evolution]
(Sarfati, Jonathan Refuting Evolution 2, USA: Master Books, October, 2002, p.23. His italics.)

Geology

Geology

“Scientists today have noted that the continents are covered by glacial ice to an extent of 10.4% of the earth’s surface. In the past the ice cover was much more extensive inasmuch as evidence shows that some 28% of the continents were covered.”
(Camping, Harold, Adam When? Oakland, CA: Family Stations, Inc., 1974 p.191.)

Immigration (Immigrants, legal/illegal)

Immigration (Immigrants, legal/illegal)

Unless the political dynamics change in Mexico and U.S. employers who hire illegal immigrants are punished, illegal immigration won't stop.
(http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/63844.aspx, accessed 12-21-06)

Judaism (Jews and Israel)

Judaism (Jews and Israel)

"I am honored and excited to team up with Rabbi Eckstein to mobilize Christian support for Israel…Given the commitment of these American Christians to the State of Israel and her precarious position during the current outbreak of terrorism, I look forward to a groundswell of support for Israel in the Christian community."
(Quote by Ralph Reed, http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife
/biblestudyandtheology/perspectives
/israel0310.aspx, accessed 12-21-06)

Race

"We've got races of funny looking people on this planet because demons were running around, humping' humans back in Genesis!"
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/sermons/languages.html, accessed 022307)

Race

"There is really only one race—the human race. Scripture distinguishes people by tribal or national groupings, not by skin color or physical appearances...All peoples can freely interbreed and produce fertile offspring. This shows that the biological differences between the ‘races’ are not very great at all."
http://www.answersingenesis.org
/home/area/OneBlood/chapter4.asp, accessed 022307)

"Generally, whatever feature we may look at, no people group has anything that is, in its essence, uniquely different from that possessed by another. For example, the Asian, or almond-shaped, eye gets its appearance simply by having an extra fold of fat. Both Asian and Caucasian eyes have fat—the latter simply have less of it."
http://www.answersingenesis.org
/home/area/OneBlood/chapter4.asp, accessed 022307)

Sabbath (Lord’s Day)

The Lord has made it clear that He wants all people who don't spend the entire day of Sunday flattering Him to die. (Exodus 31:14) The police are warning that everyone who visits a local mall on Sunday is just asking to be picked off by the Lord.
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news1002/sniper.html, 12-20-06)

Sabbath (Lord’s Day)

It commemorates the resurrection of Christ from the dead and should be employed in exercises of worship and spiritual, both public and private…and resting from secular employments, work of necessity and mercy only being excepted.
(Baptist Faith and Message, Article VII.)

Science

"They say, 'I'm a psychologist,' or 'I'm a therapist or microbiologist.' Poppy-cock! That's what it is. They are nothing more than Satanists with spectacles and pockets full of pencils and rulers. In fact, the word 'scientist' is actually Latin for 'Satanist.'"
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news1100/science.html, accessed 022307)

Science

"Many of the founders of the principle  scientific  fields, such as Bacon, Galileo, Kepler, and  Newton, were believers in a recently created earth. The idea that science cannot accept a creationist perspective is a denial of scientific history." (From Evolution Exposed! Chapter 1, accessed at http://www.answersingenesis.org
/articles/ee/what-is-science on 022307)

Thanksgiving

She finds old newspapers and family letters that recount the terrible atrocities suffered upon the early members of our congregation by the red-skinned race. (http://www.landoverbaptist.org
/news1102/thanksgiving.html, accessed 03/12/07)

Thanksgiving

There is no doubt that these early Christian settlers thanked the “Indians” in general and Squanto in particular for their generosity in supplying venison to supplement the Pilgrims’ meager Thanksgiving rations. As the historical record shows, however, thanksgiving was ultimately made to God. (DeMar,America’s Christian History: The Untold Story, (Powder Springs, Georgia: American Vision, Inc.) 1993, p.26)

Vegetarians

Vegetarians

Vegetarians have to be more aware of getting certain vitamins and nutrients than meat-eaters, but they also avoid many health problems that come with eating meat. However, for both meat-eaters and vegetarians, the main issue is what foods are being eaten. A diet of sweets isn’t good for anyone, and being a vegetarian doesn’t mean that you will be careful not to consume too much junk food. If you are concerned about your child’s diet, consult your pediatrician. You can even ask your family doctor or pediatrician to refer you to a nutritionist. These professionals can answer your questions about the pros and cons of vegetarianism much more thoroughly.
(http://www.focusonyourchild.com
/health/art1/A0000098.html, accessed 12-21-06)

War on Christmas

War on Christmas

The United States Postal Service began the 1994 holiday season by announcing that stamps depicting the Virgin Mary and the Christ Child would no longer adorn Christmas stamps…After some protest the Postal Service rescinded the Herodian edict. This did not stop Postal Service officials from nixing the greeting “Merry Christmas,” however.
(DeMar, p.45.)

Rarely are such instances of “religious cleansing” seen as a threat to the religious liberties of Christians or a violation of the First Amendment of the Constitution. Neither are they regarded as official acts of censorship by those who cry “censorship” at the drop of a hat.
(DeMar, p.46)

Women

Women

John 3:16 says, "Whosoever will," and that is an all-inclusive statement that leaves no one out on the basis of position in society, mental capacity, or gender. We also find a passage in Galatians that tells us of our equal opportunity for salvation. "For we are all the children of God by faith in Jesus Christ. For as many of you as have been baptized (identified) into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-28). There is no sexism at the cross.
(http://www.gotquestions.org
/God-Bible-sexist.html, accessed 12-21-06)